Q: What do you get when you cross Flipper (a dolphin TV Star) with Jaws (shark from the movie Jaws)?
Ans: A fish that will bite you in half then save you from drowning. Though their distinctions are certainly significant (sharks are cold-blooded and dolphins are warm-blooded), sharks and dolphins have some undeniable parallels: side fins, a heavy fin, and a torpedo-shaped body. These similarities are analogies traits the two lineages evolved separately as adaptations for moving swiftly in the drinking water. Sharks were gliding through the oceans a long time before dolphins descended from land-dwelling mammals. Dolphins evolved flippers, a dorsal fin, and a torpedo-shaped body as natural selection shaped them for the life of an ocean predator. Flipper has been sub-consciously programmed to kill, but remember your dog is still the neatest dolphin who has ever existed (and, if those people from Earth Day are correct, dolphins are the smartest animals on the planet). With cunning focus and strategic military planning reminiscent of Patton, Flipper and Jaws will lure Jaws deeper and closer, both heading at tremendously high rates of speed, descending towards the marine floor (I know Flipper’s an air breather, when anyone can do it Flipper can). Then, just as the two are reaching interstate type velocities and are only a few feet away from the coral rocks below, Flipper unveils his very best weapon. Two words: turning radius. Picture a Porsche making a hairpin convert at 50 mph used by an 18 wheeler doing the same thing. Jaws will jackknife right into the coral deep sea (which is damn razor-sharp I might add) and will also be only slightly less dysphemistic then when he smiled get back air canister in his mouth. Flipper will be calling the photos. Second, Besides the intelligence you mentioned, Flipper also has the endurance advantage. His warm-blooded 4-chamber heart will keep him going well after ‘ol Jaws is sucking wind (water). 1 / 3, Jaws isn’t so challenging. Sure, anyone can get rid of helpless people (land inhabitants) who are out of their element. It’s like a bully picking on little kids.

 

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