Do you know what the chemical make-up of human urine is? No? Actually, most people don’t. Which is unfortunately why so many people get busted when they try to use a fake urine they purchased over Facebook or Craig’s List.
Of course, these days you can do a quick internet search and find lots of websites that sell many different times of synthetic urine, and they all have awfully scientific sounding descriptions, talking about pH levels and lots of chemical names. However, so many of them are just complete crap.
So how can someone without an advanced degree in chemistry work out which is the best synthetic urine? Let’s talk about what it is you need.
What is In Urine
Urine is actually at least 95% water. Unfortunately, this is more distilled water than chlorinated, fluoridated city supply tap water. Once you discount the water, you are looking at a liquid that contains urea, chloride, sodium, potassium, creatinine and whatever metabolites are floating around from your drug use.
Something else you should be aware of is that when these companies trying to sell you fake pee are talking about pH levels; the normal range is between around 4.6 to 8. However, this is a range, and fluctuations and variations are generally caused by diet. For example, the majority of human omnivores will hover somewhere around having urine with a pH of 6, while a vegan or vegetarian tend to be more acidic, while serious meat-eaters tend to have urine that is more alkaline (just in case your tester randomly asks you what your diet is like, now you know why).
Other things to be aware of is that the people who are administering your urine test are not only trained in this job, they actually administer a lot of urine tests. Just like you can probably tell the difference between cabbage and bud by sight, taste, smell or touch, they can usually tell what is wrong with your urine with a similar level of accuracy (although generally they don’t do a lot of taste testing).
For example, did you know that if someone hasdiabetes their urine tends to smell a bit sweeter (see here for other reasons)? And while fresh urine has little smell (unless you’ve been eating asparagus), old urine smells very strongly and has a deep ammonia scent. So, you can see how it is really not as easy as you’d imagine tricking the testing administrator with an inferior fake pee.
However, this is how the marketing team behind a lot of the sites that sell synthetic urine work. For example, they might make bold statements about how their product is loaded with creatinine. Unfortunately for them, you now know that although creatinine is a by-product of a normal functioning kidney but should only be present in the urine in very small doses. If your urinalysis is showing high amounts of creatinine it would usually suggest that you are in kidney failure, and with the American health system, this probably isn’t something you actually want on your medical records when it was caused by cheap fake pee.
How about when the really scientifically minded sites start to talk about gravity and density? This sounds awfully impressive but basically testing your urine for its density level is run of the mill test that isn’t actually associated with a drug analysis at all. However, it is comparing the urine to the density of water, and as urine is 95% or so water, a lab technician running the urinalysis would expect to see your urine come back int the0.001 to 0.035 range. Another outside of this range would indicate, again, that your kidneys are not working like they should, or that the substance they are analysing isn’t actually human urine. https://www.healthline.com/health/urine-specific-gravity